Abby Does Life: Struggles With Christmas And How to Handle It

It's finally that time of year again! Christmas!!! Christmas is definitely one of my favorite holidays. Everyone is happy and cheerful, you get to wear fun sweaters and drink hot chocolate, and of course PRESENTS! Unfortunately, getting presents mean you also have to give presents, which can be a real struggle for people with anxiety (that would be me). So I thought I'd create a guide for those who have anxiety and how they should deal with that when shopping, and those who are around people who might have anxiety and how they should act.

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What kinds of things make shopping difficult for someone with anxiety?

Crowds are a big part of it. So many people running back and forth, squeezed into one big hallway, all talking. It can be extremely stressful. I've had several panic attacks in the mall, and during a panic attack, your senses become way more aware of everything. Noises are twice as loud, smells are twice as strong, and people bumping into you lightly feels like someone has punched you or purposefully tried to knock you down. Not only is it terrifying, it's extremely frustrating. Another thing I have a problem with (and I'm sure others with anxiety do as well) is the people in kiosks. You know, the little booths inside the shopping centers where people try to sell you body products, perfume, cell phones, etc. While I know those people are just trying to do their job, they can be quite pushy sometimes and it can be hard on those of us with anxiety. For example, I was trying to do some Christmas shopping not too long ago in the mall. I had been by myself and was heading to the other side of the mall to meet up with my mom for lunch when a man from a kiosk tried to offer me a sample of some type of nail product. I politely declined and tried to keep walking, when he asked about my shirt. I was wearing a shirt from a festival of voices the previous year. I told him about it and tried to then walk away, but he said "Oh you sing?" and then shoved his hand in my face like a microphone. When I refused, he had his business partner come over. In the end, they got me to try to the nail product. But it was very forced and I didn't appreciate it. Afterwards, I had to find the nearest bathroom so I could calm down and try to avoid having too lengthy of a panic attack. Please, if you work in a kiosk, no means no. Don't try to force your products on people. Not only is it rude, it can also really upset those of us who are more shy.

How do I avoid panic attacks when Christmas shopping?

Shop online as much as possible. If you can't shop online, make a plan. Plan out what you're going to buy for people, or at least have SOME sort of idea. Plan what stores you're going to go to and try to go at a time when you know it will be least crowded. I have found that Saturday mornings as soon as the malls and shopping centers open are when it is least crowded, at least where I live. When you plan ahead what you're going to get and know what stores you're going to go to, you don't have to spend as much time browsing and going in and out of every store, being interrogated by the shop workers. Also, DO NOT leave your shopping till last minute. This is gaurenteed to make it 20 times as stressful, not to mention the crowds in the shopping centers are going to be at an all time high. Try to shop a couple weeks in advanced.

I've planned ahead, but when I got to the store, they didn't have what I needed! I'm out of ideas and panicking, what do I do?!

This happened to me just the other day when I was shopping for my boyfriend, so I know what that's like and that's why I'm writing about it. First off, it's okay. It won't be the end of the world if you can't find exactly what you wanted to get for someone, I can promise that. If you're completely out of ideas, call up a friend or family member who knows the person you're buying for well. Tell them what happened and explain that you're desperate for gift suggestions. Just about everyone has been there before, it won't seem out of the ordinary. Once they've given you ideas, go to a secluded area and plan out where you think this item might be. You may have to check a couple different stores. If you know it won't be in stores or you'd rather wait to plan out another trip to find the item, continue on with your shopping.

What do I do when I've had a panic attack?

If you've had a panic attack in a shopping center or store, there are several things you can do. These are all perfectly acceptable things to do, and in situations like this, you need to do what's best for you, not anyone or anything else.
1. You can leave. You can go back to your car or decide you just need to go home.

2. You can step outside or find a bathroom or secluded area and try to calm down on your own before continuing to shop. If you can't find a place, you may speak to the store manager or have a friend do it for you so they can help you find somewhere to calm down.

3. You can ring a friend. If I'm shopping on my own and I feel panicky, I call up one of my best friends because I know they'll help me relax.

What should I do after the panic attack?

After you've managed to calm down, try to take it easy. If you immediately put yourself back into a chaotic environment, you're just going to start panicking all over again. I suggest taking a break to get something to eat, or maybe grabbing some coffee in an uncrowded coffee shop. Go some place where the environment is going to be relaxed and calm. After taking a break, you can get back to shopping as planned.

I've done all of this, but I've now had multiple panic attacks in one trip. What do I do?

Well, obviously I don't have all the answers and some of this stuff may not help, but if you're having multiple panic attacks in one trip, I would suggest that it is time to go home. After you get home, you can either plan another trip for another day, or you can choose to do the remainder of your shopping online. Homemade gifts are also always appreciated!

I hope this helps you all and I wish you the best of lucky when shopping this season. If you have anymore questions, feel free to email me (link will be below) or leave a comment and I'll answer as best as I can. Hope to see you soon with another post!

Abby xxx

Wishing you the best this holiday season